If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to come across the ‘Christmas Tinner’, then I can only apologise for the PTSD that is most likely rising through your stomach resulting from once again reading that treacherous duopoly of words.

Should you have not encountered this catastrophic creation, I will now take you on a journey that will make you ponder on what has come to be of humankind.

The ‘Christmas Tinner’ is ostensibly your Christmas roast all slammed into a single can (or a tin). It starts up top with scrambled egg and bacon (as all good roasts do). The natural progression is of course into two mince pies.

Then we get into the heavy hitters of turkey and potatoes, followed by your staple triple threat of gravy, bread sauce and cranberry sauce. A disproportionately large section is subsequently provided to brussels sprouts with stuffing, and carrots with parsnips.

This mad concoction is then aptly put out of its misery with a slab of Christmas pudding.

If you don’t believe me, Google it (I advise leaving a solid two hour window after eating before doing so though). Whilst a rather sordid PR exercise, the mind does wonder as to why some people feel the need to royally mangle things that are ardently better left untouched.

Our case in point - the humble roast should be left as it is. Whilst a consensus will probably never be reached on which is the best meat for a roast, and debates over the optimal accompaniments shall continue for centuries more, it cannot be argued that the general blueprint of a roast has long held a solid construct.

So as we evidently approach what really can be dubbed as ‘roast season’, what better timing than to get into some wine and roast pairings.